the silence has broken

Apologies for the long delay…. things have been absolutely crazy and haven’t had a moment to breath – let alone write!

Now that I’m here, i’ve got a lot to admit… so let the spilling commence!

With all the crazy stress going on in my life, eating well and balancing has become increasingly more difficult. I find myself feeling low energy and slipping into bad habits again… things I don’t like. My biggest problem lately… is late night snacking… I used to be able to curb my appetite at night, but lately I am just SO HUNGRY- or am i? I think I really just like the feeling of eating (which I know Is not a good mindset) The past two nights I’ve consumed 4 muffins after dinner- muffins that i had made as a “healthy” snack for myself. My problem is as soon as I have one, I never know how to stop … does anyone else feel like this? One leads to two which leads to eight and me feeling sick. its becoming a habit I don’t like…. the issue is I’m split. It’s like I’ve got two little people whispering in my ear- the angel and the devil. The devil says, keep eating.. it feels so good. eat til you feel sick. But the angel says have one and walk away.

However that angel is being drowned out lately the devil. This is leaving me feeling bloated, slow and unhappy. Part of me says, at least if i’m over eating, I’m not eating anything TERRIBLE(  whole wheat banana muffins and almond butter) but its just figuring out how to not eat alllll the muffins and feel satisfied with just one.

So i will do what I keep doing… keep trying to have control when eating things i love… trying to not eat 2375093859 slices but just one…. i need to regain control. I need to be happy. I need to find balance.

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